Words like Tears
by AgentAva
Summary: Do you remember that night? That night that we sat under the stars and drank until the world itself became blurry? Because I do. Johnlock.


A/N: This fic is categorized as Sherlock, _**but it is not confined to just that pairing**_. I mean, I tried writing this for almost any pairing, but then the ending burst from my stubby fingertips and it turned into Johnlock. Whoops.

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There were stars among us that night. They were all kinds of stars, small and winking, bright and yellow, waves of green and blue. It was the first time I'd ever seen the sky that beautiful. Usually, when I looked up I found thick yellow smog and flickering streetlights. But that night, that night was different.

The air was clearer, clearer than I'd tasted it before. It cleared the sky above us, enriching the colors and clearing away the dirt people have left before us. The sounds of the city pulsed below us as we drank; words dipped off our tongues and thoughts were lost to the crescent moon. That was when you whispered to me.

It might have been the booze, but I could feel heat rush to my head.

You searched my hazy eyes with yours for an answer, recognition, some sort of sign that I'd heard what you had said. I tried to nod, but my head ended up bobbing, my lips trying to form coherent words. In the end, you had to push my tongue back into my mouth by using yours.

I let out a drunken giggle, something that had attempted to be manly and fell flat. I might have slurred something back to you, but it was washed out by the warm hammering in my chest. You smiled anyways, and it reached your eyes, something that didn't happen too often. I try to take a mental picture of your face, but when I tried to look at it later, it turned out blurry.

Alcohol set its heavy weight over my eyes. Even as I try to shake the feeling, I could feel the bottle we were sharing slip from my fingers. Just before it falls, your steady hands catch mine and the whiskey bottle. The feeling of your skin against mine was the only thing that was crystal clear the next morning.

Leading me with firm hands, you took me to the edge of the building and helped me step up on the sill. Hands reach for my face and hold on tight. Your lips were forming words, a lot of them, but your voice doesn't reach my ears. What was wrong with your eyes? I've never seen them like this. You take a moment to swallow a heavy amount of air. Your eyes were shifty, your hands warm, and wind whistled through your hair as if it was trying to pull you away from me. I knew subconsciously that it wasn't going to work; others had tried.

One way or another, they all ended up dead.

And then you started to cry. My heartbeat sped up as I took your face in my hands, tried to calm you, to figure out what was going on. More words spilled from your mouth like the tears that dripped from your soul. I still can't figure out what you kept repeating to me, what you whispered as we kissed, as you ran your lips across my face, taking in every inch of me, and I you.

I remembered the last words you said to me. That one I could hear clearly as you pushed me off the ledge, away from you. I remembered the tears in your eyes, the raw emotion that had never graced your face until that night. I remembered hitting the roof and lunging helplessly for you as you gave me one last heartbreaking smile and fell from the building.

Scrambling to the edge, I reach for you, your name curving wet tracks over my skin. _No. No, no, no._ Where have you gone? I don't see your body leave an imprint on the world like you left one on mine. I stare blankly into the city abyss before it finally sinks in; the loneliness that burrowed into my skin and injected itself into my bloodstream. The yellow smog and the icy stars stare at me in pity as I struggle to control my convulsing body.

That was when I shook myself awake, the salty taste of your name across my tongue. I reach out for your hands that had felt so real, but I ended up holding on to empty air. And for once in a very long time, I let myself feel emotion. My whole body sobbed for you, ached for you as I retched out your name because watching you fall had felt so _real_.

"Please, John, don't be...dead."

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Hey look I actually wrote a thing! Hope you liked it. Leave me a review to tell me how much you liked it, if at all? k thnx

'Til next time, m'dears!


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